I Should Be So Lucky
by BandGeek727
Summary: I always knew I'd find someone; I never dreamt it'd be like this
1. it's been a year, filled with problems

**AN**

So- This all started back in… I forget when it was, but it was before Christmas… when Kila sent me this story she was working on. It was Marred, so it caught my attention instantly. I read through it and automatically fell in love with the idea. I told her it was making me excited to write, and that I was already getting ideas as to where it could go. And she graciously offered to let me work on it.

So this is twice now I've taken stubfics of yours, Kila. I'll have to write you a stubfic sometime.

Anyway. So I got really excited about it. In fact, I'm _still _excited about it. I rarely like a story this much once I finish it. (I should try to come up with chaptered fics on my own.) It's been so much fun writing for this, and I'm so grateful to Kila for giving me the chance. It's been a great experience, and one of my favorite things I've ever written.

Most of Kila's stuff is in the first two chapters; there's some in the last chapter, too. Most of my stuff is in the subsequent chapters, although I did add a bit onto the both the first two chapters, mostly at the end.

And just as a warning. This fic will contain some serious Marred. If you can't stand the couple, I suggest you don't read it. (painful as that is for me to do… ;P)

However, if you do like the couple, then enjoy! I hope you'll read and review, and I'll hope you'll love it as much as I do.

~BG

* * *

**I Should Be So Lucky**

_If I gave you my hand would you take it  
__And make me the happiest man in the world  
__If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute  
__Without you, girl  
_~Josh Turner,_ Would You Go With Me_

_Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories? Those of us who fall in love alone. We are the victims of the one-sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones.  
_~Kate Winslet, Columbia Pictures'_ 'The Holiday'_

_In my imagination  
__There is no complication  
__I dream about you all the time  
_~Kylie Minogue, _I Should Be So Lucky_

**1**

XR had never imagined that Mira Nova would _ever _ask him out on a date.  
He had, of course, imagined that _he _would ask _her _out. In his head it all went smoothly- he was suave and cool and didn't start giggling or going too fast- in a nutshell, he didn't do anything stupid, and Mira always said yes and they'd leave together in his car (sure, in the fantasy he could have a car, it was about as likely as the rest of this plot), and he'd be smart and charming and witty, he'd put his arm around her and she'd put her head on his shoulder, and then his imagination usually crapped out because he'd get distracted or fall asleep or get a teammate asking him why he had a doofy look on his face.  
But he had never dreamed that things could be the other way around. Ever. And so when Mira cornered him in the break room, alone, and said  
"XR, I need you to take me out to dinner-"  
he could only stare at her.  
Of course, it was not as big of a shock as it might have been. Mira's first bombshell had come a week ago. He'd known something was up from the moment she showed up for work that Monday morning, though he didn't think much of it at the time- he just thought 'daddy issues again' and 'she's cute when she's angry, s'long as it's not at me'. And forgot about it.  
But apparently these daddy issues were a little more serious than usual. He'd noticed her giving him funny looks all day, appraising looks, and then...  
An obscure Tangean rule. The Tangean princess needed to be engaged by the time she turned 21 or her dad had every right to choose someone _for _her. Mira was going to be 21 next week and she had no boyfriend.  
XR had listened to this, humming affirmatively at places where it seemed appropriate, and sympathized with her in a detached way until she dropped her little bombshell.  
"XR... don't take this the wrong way, but..." She trailed off, tugging at her glove.  
"But?" he prompted.  
"I need someone I won't actually... see, you're like my little brother. It'd feel like... see, I know I wouldn't fall in love with you." He stiffened. "And I need someone I can trust."  
"You can't trust Buzz or Booster?" he said, wondering what THIS was about.  
"I can, but..." She hunched her shoulders, biting her lip. "Okay. We both know Buzz wouldn't... understand."  
She gave him a meaningful look. He tapped his foot.  
"Buzz would want me to follow the Tangean rule, no matter how- _stupid _or _stifling _it may be-"  
"Uh huh." What _now_ was she going to throw at him?  
"And Booster... ugh. He's a great guy. But he's... I don't know how good he is with secrets."  
"Secrets?"  
"Yes. XR, they can't know. No one but my father can know."  
He frowned. "I see..." Know... what?  
"But you get it, right? I can't let my father marry me off!" she said with sudden force. "I already dodged _one _marriage! And- and you helped me get out of it! Maybe you can help me again."  
She looked away. He leaned forward, blinking. Help? Mira? She _needed _him? "By doing what?"  
"By... popping the question."  
It had taken XR a moment to realize he was suddenly lying face-down on the floor with Mira shaking his shoulder.  
"XR? Are- are you okay?!"  
"You want me to marry you?" he moaned.  
"NO!" she yelped, horrified. "No no no no no no! I just- need you to get me a ring I can show to my dad and then, when I find someone... for real... we can just quietly break it off and I don't wind up married to Fop Doppler, or anyone like him. My dad won't even know you're the one who got me the ring."  
"Why can't you get your _own_ ring?"  
"He's monitoring my bank account. He'd know." Her voice took on a dry quality. "And besides, I've seen you come back from the casino. I know you're loaded."  
"Marrying for money, huh?" he said.  
She glared at him. "We're not actually getting married, _ever,_ now get up!" she snapped.  
He got to his feet, swayed, propped himself against the wall and said "Ohhh... kaaay... you want me to buy you a ring, huh?"  
"I'll pay you back for it," she said. "In small amounts, so my dad won't notice, but I will pay you. And when I give the ring back you can return it, so – think of it this way, you'll get about the price of the ring out of this."  
He stared off into space. "Uh huh."  
"Look. I really, really need you to do this for me," she said, squeezing her eyes shut. "Please."  
And of course, in the end he'd bought her a ring. The one she was wearing right now, in fact. And for six days, that had been the end of it, but now...  
"I need you to take me out to dinner," she said again. "With my dad."  
He stared at her. Her eyes were closed and her face was strained, but she still looked beautiful. Silky, flaming red hair, perfect heart-shaped face, tiny little nub nose, full, ruby red lips, long, dark eyelashes and baby soft robin's-egg skin... and that was just her _face. _Which he never saw enough of, way down here...  
Oh, right, she'd asked him a question. He swallowed. "Why?"  
"Well," she said- forced out, really, "what do you think, XR? He found out you're the one who bought me the ring. You- _stupidly- _used your Star Command bank account-"  
"Hey! That just so happens to be my _only_ current checking account and look, Miss Priss, you never said a _thing _about-"  
"He hates rangers, XR!" she cried. "He looked into it and when he saw it was a Star Command account..." She sighed. "Okay, I'm sorry. The fact is he would've looked into it anyway and I can't imagine you wouldn't have used your real name for your bank account..." No, but that might be a good idea in the future. "Anyway, he did what he did, and he found us out. And last night he called me and, well. He's not happy. And he thinks our relationship is fake, and..."  
"It is fake," he said quickly.  
"Yes, but... XR, I'm sorry. I told him it's not. And now he wants to see us on a date." She pinched the bridge of her nose.  
"He called your bluff," XR said woodenly. So, then, this beautiful creature in front of him wanted-  
He was face-down on the floor again, he realized. He became vaguely aware that Mira was shaking his shoulder again, gently, and calling his name. In that beautiful voice of hers. Mm, he could listen to that voice all day…  
"XR? Are you okay?"  
"Pretty much."  
"XR, I'm sorry, you don't have to, I'll fess up and-"  
"Oh no," he heard himself say. "You are a thinking sentient creature and no man has the right to tie you down with an unwanted marriage." He pushed himself to his feet. "Mira, I will go on as many dates with you as you need. I'm here for you."  
She bit her lip. "Yeah, b-but XR, you don't really-"  
"Oh no. I insist," he said, holding his hands up. "Tonight?"  
"Uh, yeah, but- look, this was a bad-"  
"Oh, no no. No, I refuse to be anything but a supportive friend to you, Mira."  
She folded her arms over her chest. "Wanna bet?"  
He frowned at her. "Mira, I'm only trying to help you out."  
She raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh. Look. I... I'm willing to go through with the fake date, okay? For tonight. To get my dad off my back. But listen to me, buster." She leaned in, giving him a deadpan look. "If you try _anything. _At all. I will hurt you so bad, they'll be picking pieces of you out of the ceiling."  
XR didn't want anyone to be picking bits of him out of the ceiling. "Why, Mira, what would I try?" And he gave her the most innocent look he could muster.

---

And now here he was, with his head buried in the toilet.  
He stood up, flushed, put his hand over his mouth and watched his lunch get sucked down the drain. Ew. Eww. Oh gag. Oh mother of Venus. He bent over again, retching. He had to meet Mira and her dad in an _hour. _Oh no. Oh craters. Oh...  
He flushed again, his vocoder skipping in a weird metallic chirping noise. Doomed. DOOMED, that's what he was. Tonight was it, tonight was THE END. Doomsday. Him and Mira? Him and Mira! Yeah right! She'd kill him and her dad would kill him or he'd flip out somehow and kill them and himself and-  
He started retching again. Oh, sweet mother of Venus.  
Finally he staggered out of the stall and looked up at the bathroom mirror. He couldn't even see it without using his cable extenders and he felt too shaky to bother. Oh, he was such toast. He covered his eyes, moaning.  
Okay. First things first. He looked down at his arms, gulping. When was the last time he took a _bath, _for crying out loud? He was covered in grime!  
He took out a polishing cloth and started quickly rubbing himself down- all he had time for. Once he looked semi-presentable he threw out the now-filthy cloth and looked back down at himself, this time focusing on all the dents and scratches and chips in his paint. He was _coated _with them.  
He gingerly touched a particularly large depression in his side and swallowed, feeling sure for one terrible moment that he was going to throw up again. But no. Okay.  
He didn't have time to get all the dents out, the drive to the place they were having dinner was forty-five minutes away and he only had 55 minutes until he was supposed to be there so he only had ten minutes which was nowhere _near _long enough to get a new paint job, heck, it wasn't even enough to get properly polished.  
He grimaced at a long scrape in the paint on his arm. Not very dateworthy-looking. Could he wear something over it? A dinner jacket, or something? Yes! A dinner jacket!  
He rooted around in his storage compartment and found nothing but his aloha shirt. Oh... craters. He couldn't wear _that _thing. Oh- here was something else, a bow tie. It wouldn't cover the dents, but it was something. He tied it on. There, dashing, huh? No, actually, he probably looked really, really stupid. Oh... mother of Venus...  
Suddenly his cell phone rang and he jumped nearly a foot in the air, squawking. He calmed himself down enough to answer the phone.  
It was Mira. She didn't look happy. He gulped.  
"XR, aren't you coming to pick me up?"  
He blinked. "Uhh..." Oh, of course, standard dating etiquette involved the man driving the woman to the specified date location. Only problem, XR didn't have a car. Or a driver's license. He rocked back and forth. "You never said I was supposed to pick you up."  
Mira groaned. "Okay, fine, I'll pick _you _up. I'll be there in about five minutes, okay?"  
"Okaaay," he said, and hung up. Then he ran back to the toilet.

---

The launch bay was empty this time of night, the LGMs had all gone back to... where-ever those guys came from (XR had a dim memory of having been there once but he couldn't remember where 'there' was). The Star Cruisers were arrayed by the wall in a silent line, where XR paced back and forth in front of them, whimpering.  
He stopped in front of 42, gigantic and lifeless.  
"You never did this to me," he told her. "What is going on here? Tangean mental powers don't extend to creating terror, right? No, I know they don't. Am I just sick or something? What's she _doin'?_"  
42 didn't answer, because her inhabitant had long since been given a new body, and that body had transferred itself out of the quadrant, effectively ending the only actual relationship he'd ever been in. Yeah, what great terms _she'd_ left on. He frowned at his treads. Things had been so good in the beginning- what had made her leave? He still didn't understand it. What could he have done so wrong that she'd felt the need to get so far away from him? Really… he couldn't be _that _bad at this… could he?  
He sighed heavily and sat down with his back against the empty ship, contemplating the evening he had ahead of him. Doomed. There was nothing else to it. Here was the end of any hope that Mira would ever agree to go out with him. _Ever. _He was just hoping she'd still want to talk to him after the disaster that was sure to be tonight. He moaned, squeezing his eyes shut. _Doomed.  
_The sudden roar of an engine interrupted his thoughts and he popped to his feet, wide-eyed.  
Mira's car was small and blue and streamlined. He started heading towards it, slowly and steadily, moving as though entranced. Now, that was some car. Smooth and shiny and clean and...  
He threw an apologetic look over his shoulder at 42. _Sorry, hon', but you've got nothin' on this.  
_And then he looked back at the car to see Mira had gotten out of it. She was wearing a sensible black dress that hugged her hips and flared out just under her knees- sadly, all you could really see of her legs was her ankles. Oh, well. He liked her ankles. Hot shoes, too.  
"Okay," she sighed. "Let's get this over with."  
"Okay!" he all but chirped, coming over and getting in the passenger seat.  
In the car he could see her top half a little better (most of his lack of height was in his stumpy legs, when they were both sitting down he came up to Mira's shoulder as opposed to her hip)- she was all made up, with eyeshadow and blush (usually she just wore lipstick and eyeliner). It looked good.  
"You look nice," he heard himself say, and was horrified for a moment- but why shouldn't he tell her she looked nice? What right to tell her she looked nice did he _not _have? She did look nice.  
"Watch it," she said anyway, and he looked away, scowling.  
"What? You do look nice. If that makes you angry, maybe you should've come with a bag over your head." Granted, her legs would still look fine if she had a bag over her head, and that was all he could really see anyway... Mira would have to go to some lengths _not _to look nice in some form or another, come to think of it...  
She groaned and started the engine. "Look, here's a tip to make the evening easier. Don't talk."  
XR nodded.  
"Let _me _do the talking."  
He nodded again.  
"Okay?"  
Another nod.  
They took off and he sank into the cushions, relishing the smell of her perfume. He had forty-five minutes of this. See? There was no reason to be nervous.  
"So," she said. "My dad is... I should warn you, he's really mad."  
"Mmmhmm. Oh, sorry. Does the no-talking rule apply to a hum of assent? I wasn't-"  
"Quiet. _Now," _she snapped. "Anyway. I just want to warn you that my dad might... insult you."  
"Mmmhmm."  
"And if that happens..." She hesitated. "XR- what _would _you do if he insulted you?"  
"Mmmmm."  
"XR?!"  
"Mmmph."  
"Okay, you can talk!" she cried, rolling her eyes. "For crying out loud! Stop acting like you're two!"  
"For your information, I _am_ two." He put his hands behind his head. "Mira, you don't have to worry about me. I'm an adult."  
"You just said you were two," she groaned, putting her hand over her face (but peeking through her fingers to keep her eyes on the road).  
He hunched his shoulders. "Well... yeah. But that's considered... I'm a robot. It's fine. Besides, since when do I pick fights with royalty? I mean, I'm not stupid, Mira."  
She raised an eyebrow at him. _"I'm_ royalty."  
"And?"  
She sighed, rolling her eyes. "Never mind. Look. If my dad insulted your profession-"  
"I'd just ask him who he'd plan to call if he was ever burgled."  
"No. No, see, you can't say that. It's inflammatory."  
He rolled his eyes. "Okay then. I would grovel before him, like a good little robot."  
She glared over at him. "Just... don't do anything _stupid."  
_"Scout's honor," he said, saluting.  
She shot him one last warning look and turned on the radio.

---

The restaurant was really nice. Probably the kind of place you could onlyget into if you had Nova's kind of influences. It was spacious and warm inside, with candles at every table and crystal glasses and a maitre'd and everything. Said maitre'd ushered them to their table right away- King Nova was already sitting there, looking typically regal.  
XR rushed right up to him. He'd show Mira, he wascapable of being polite. "Hi!" he said, holding out his hand. King Nova frowned at him and he backtracked quickly. "Uh- I mean- Your Highness." He bobbed his head in a little half-bow, clasping his hands behind his back and trying to look respectful.  
King Nova raised one eyebrow, looking down his nose with more disdain than XR thought he himself could muster in a lifetime. It was the kind of look you only got to have if you were royalty. Well, height helped, but King Nova could probably give a twelve-foot alien that same look and get away with it.  
"You don't have a ring," he noted.  
"Yeah, well," XR said, thinking it was some royal thing- then he remembered, oh yeah, engaged. "I meeaan- well, sir, that's because- I don't have a ring finger." He chuckled nervously, holding his hand out. "See, I only have four- and also, my hands are kinda fat, so- I've been meaning to lose weight, see, in my... hands..."  
Mira kneed him in the back. (There were worse places she could have chosen, he supposed.) "I mean... do you mind if I take a seat? No? Well-" He pulled out a chair.  
"And you're seating yourself before the princess, I take it," King Nova said.  
XR blinked. "Uh- no, see, you're getting ahead of me, I never said this was _my _chair. Uh. Mira?"  
She sat down and he took the seat next to her. "His ring is in the mail, Dad," she said nervously.  
"Yeah!" he said. "It's a... mail-order..."  
"Why doesn't Mira have a mail-order ring?" Nova said.  
XR drummed his fingers on the table. "Because... I wanted to pick it out by hand. Of course. Nothing but the best for your little girl, sir. Ehehehe." He swallowed.  
Nova raised one eyebrow. "I see."  
"Good one," Mira whispered in his ear.  
"Oh, you," he said, and pinched her cheek. She withdrew, wincing. "She's always whispering stuff to me."  
She elbowed him in the side. He winced. Apparently physical abuse was just going to be a part of this evening.  
Mira turned back to her father. "It's true," she said with a nervous smile.  
King Nova seemed unimpressed. "I suppose you two have already considered what you're going to do about heirs."  
XR actually thought he'd said 'air' for a minute and was in the middle of thinking 'I'm a robot, what do I need air for' when he realized what the king had _really _said. His grip tightened on the tablecloth and his eyes widened.  
"Duh- whaa- errr-"  
"We'll adopt!" Mira blurted.  
King Nova raised one eyebrow. "Mira, do I really need to tell you the throne can only be inherited by a direct descendant of the royal family?"  
Mira stood up, putting her hands on her hips. "Well, who says Tangea even has to stay a monarchy?" XR stared at her. "This is the 31st century, Dad! Planets aren't ruled independently anymore! Get with the program!"  
"None of this is coming from me," XR said quickly, shrinking in his seat.  
Nova shot him a look anyway before rounding on his daughter. "Mira, be reasonable. Tangea is a great planet with a noble history. Our family has been in power since its origin. Our traditions have been in place for centuries – Mira, our laws are not something you simply toss aside on a whim!"  
"Who says it's a whim? Who says change is a _bad _thing? You yourself agreed to join the Galactic Alliance!"  
Nova turned away, gesturing vaguely. "That was different, Mira, your Ranger Lightyear – primitive as he may be – actually talked a bit of sense. If we change too much, we'll lose the very essence of who we are."  
Mira's entire attitude changed rapidly. Her eyes widened and she went rigid, then she frowned and slumped back into her seat, folding her arms and glowering at the table. "There's nothing wrong with being different," she muttered darkly.  
To XR's intense surprise, something in King Nova's expression actually softened. He leaned toward his daughter, and his voice was full of concern when he said gently, "I know that, Dear, I know, but…" he glanced in XR's direction – his face hardened and his tone became self-righteous again, "…be _reasonable."  
_It was a testament to how much XR wanted this to work for her that he didn't jump up on the table and start shouting that hey, Mira could do a _lot _worse – okay, it was true, she could also do a lot _better, _sure, but… she could do worse. He was a ranger, he'd _seen _how worse she could do.  
He spent the rest of the evening fiddling with his napkin while Mira picked at her food and King Nova ignored him altogether. Neither of them asked him if he wanted anything, they were too busy bickering. Nova's incessant quips gave him more than enough to stew over until all he could think about was getting out of the restaurant with his sanity intact.

---

It was late when they finally left. It had gotten much colder outside and he hugged himself as they made their way back to Mira's car. Out of the corner of his eye XR noticed they were right across from a grocery store, which reminded him that he needed to pick up some oil, because-  
"XR, look at me when I talk to you."  
He did, and so didn't notice Booster coming out of the grocery store.  
"I was saying that I don't think we'll be going on any more dates with my dad," she said. He nodded. Well, what had he expected. "I hope so, anyway. Okay. Actually, we might need to do one or two more." She pinched the bridge of her nose.  
XR nodded, looking back at the restaurant. "Huh... he's still watching us."  
"What?" Mira cried, whipping around to stare wide-eyed at her father, silhouetted in a window.  
XR felt himself shrug. He was feeling tired suddenly, kinda out-of-it… "You know, your dad is kind of a jerk. Yeah, okay, so maybe-" He stopped short when she suddenly took his helmet off and picked him up. He froze with shock. "Mira, what are you-"  
And then the most unbelievable thing happened. In weeks to come, XR would return to this event in his mind over and over- and every time he'd have to tell himself it couldn't have happened, he must somehow have been mistaken.  
Mira kissed him. _Kiss-_kissed. On the lips. By which, her lips touched his. And they were soft, her lips. And slightly sticky. And he could smell her perfume.  
Okay, it wasn't like XR had never been kissed before- not really- he'd been pecked on the helmet, see, but okay, maybe that was a little different- okay, it was a lot different. This was sloppier. And fleshier. And she had a... flavor. A weird, foreign, organic... flavor. And it was so... _different, _from-  
She pulled away suddenly, putting him down with more force than he thought was really necessary. _"Eyeaugh! _Did you put your _tongue _in my mouth?!"  
She sounded equally nauseous and horrified. "Uhh... me?" He blinked groggily, a little disoriented by the sudden end of that... very interesting experience. "No."  
"Ewww! You _did!"_ she said, pawing at her mouth. _"Ewww!"  
_"You _started _it!" he cried.  
"I didn't put my TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH! _EWWW!!"  
_Well, that went well for a first kiss. "I DIDN'T PICK YOU UP AND _KISS YOU!"  
_"THERE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE TONGUES!!"  
"I didn't-" he started to say, waving his arms. She held one finger up. (The index. He'd gotten lucky there.)  
"Stop. Just... _stop." _She looked over her shoulder. "Did my dad see that?"  
Ohh, her dad. He looked over at the window- King Nova had disappeared. "So _that's _why you kissed me."  
She glanced down at him, her eyes narrowing. "What other reason would I have to kiss you?" she hissed.  
He folded his arms over his chest, scowling. "I didn't ask you to do that, just so ya know! It was aaaall _your _idea, so if you hated it so much-"  
"It was YOUR idea to put your TONGUE IN MY MOUTH!!"  
It hadn't been his idea, it had sort of just... happened... yeah. Even in his head, that sounded lame. "Well, sorr-eee!"  
She pinched the bridge of her nose. _"Get in the car."  
_He did, scowling down at his feet. He heard her slide in next to him and start the engine.  
"Not a word about this to _anyone," _she hissed dangerously.  
His frown deepened. "It wasn't MY idea, need I remind you, you were the one who st-"  
"It didn't mean anything, okay?"  
He winced. _Kick me when I'm down, why don't you…  
_"So just – _please_ – drop it."  
"Fine, I will."  
"Good."  
"Great."  
They pulled away from the restaurant in total silence. Neither of them looked to the left... neither of them saw Booster had dropped his grocery bags, and was staring at them so hard he looked like his eyes were going to fall out.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter!

I'm not sure when exactly I'll post the next one... it's not a long story, so it probably won't be a weekly thing. Stay tuned, and let me know what you think!

(Oh, one more thing; yeah, I got rid of the spaces between the paragraphs. I kinda like how that looks. If it makes it difficult to read, just let me know and I'll cut it out.)


	2. all my life I've been searching for you

**AN: **Hey, sorry this update took as long as it did; I was planning on updating sooner but I've been feeling lousy all week. :/

I didn't want to wait any longer though, so, here's chapter 2. Hope you enjoy!

**2**

_You don't know what you do  
When you look at me that way  
You don't how my heart breaks  
Every time you say my name  
You don't see all the tears  
That I cry in the dark  
You don't hear how I pray  
That you're safe when we're apart  
_~Sara Evans, _You Don't_

_A strangled smile fell from your face  
It kills me that I hurt you this way  
The worst part is that I didn't even know  
Now there's a million reasons for you to go  
But if you can find a reason to stay  
_~Lifehouse, _Whatever It Takes_

XR woke up the next morning feeling oddly excited. He blinked up at the ceiling, trying to remember if anything good was supposed to happen today, then he remembered last night's date. And the kiss. Oh yeah, and Mira getting mad at him. Enh, that last part was nothing new.  
He sat up, stretching, then popped out of his charger. He'd been getting better at landing on his feet instead of sprawling face-first on the floor.  
However, this was apparently not one of his good days, and he was shortly viewing the world through a spiderweb of cracks in his helmet.

---

Due to having to see the LGMs and get a replacement helmet, XR was nearly half an hour late when he got to the launch bay- therefore he was quite surprised to find Mira there waiting for him outside the cruiser, tapping her foot and looking rather put out.  
"Uh... hello?" he said, approaching her.  
Immediately, she dropped to her knees, putting an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. "XR! Where _were _you?!"  
"I fell out of... bed?"  
She blinked, then shook her head. "Oh, never mind. Look- last night worked."  
"It did?" XR said, a funny weight settling in his chest.  
"Yeah. My dad? When he saw us- uh-"  
_"Kissing?" _He smiled inoffensively.  
Mira glared at him. "You are never gonna let that go, are you? But yeah. He saw that and he was so disgusted he says he never wants to see us again."  
The weight got... weightier. "I see."  
She nodded and smiled, standing up. "So you and I can just go to work and everything will go back to normal, okay?"  
"Sure," he said. _Normal...  
_She flipped her hair and he watched, carefully tracking the movement of each individual strand, wishing he'd anticipated the movement and turned on his video recorder. Then she said "So, yeah- come on, Buzz is gonna be mad we're late."  
They entered the ship and headed in the direction of the bridge, XR reflecting on how short _that _little adventure had been. Well, probably for the best... that kiss was probably all he'd been going to get out of it, it wasn't like...  
And he gave her a sideways look, biting his lip. He was still looking at her when Booster came at them from the side.  
He came with a rush and a squeal and for a moment XR had the crazy idea he'd been hit by an enemy ship. But there was no enemy ship, just Booster, who was suddenly squeezing the two of them in a bonecrusher of a hug and screaming "OHHH I'M SO HAPPYYY!!"  
XR went limp and still, blinking rapidly. Beside him, Mira began to struggle. "B-Booster- Booster, what's going _on?"  
_"Oh, I can't believe it! I _told _XR you didn't hate him!"  
"What? Booster, what's going _on?!"  
_"You two!" Booster said, and XR's eyes widened as he began to suspect... but no, he couldn't possibly... "You guys _kissin' _'n' stuff!"  
He could.  
"WHAT?" Mira cried, and he squirmed involuntarily.  
"Heh, okay, buddy? Why don't ya just put me down there-"  
"XR _always _kept talking about how much he liked you!" This wasn't really happening, was the thing. See, this was some kind of crazy nightmare. Had to be, because how many times had he lain awake, wondering if Booster would really, truly keep his promise and keep his everlovin' mouth shut? "I told him it wouldn't make you mad! And now you're dating!"  
Mira had gone completely still.  
"Booster, I need you to put me down, _now," _she said through her teeth- barely controlling herself, he could tell.  
"Yeah. NOW," he echoed, and Booster set them down and pulled away, looking puzzled.  
Mira brandished a finger at Booster (the index- he'd gotten lucky). Her lips pressed into a tiny line, her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Okay. You had _better _not tell _anyone _about me and- him. Okay?!"  
Booster's eyes widened. "I- I already told Buzz-"  
"Oh, _craters!" _She ran into the bridge, leaving XR and Booster alone together.  
Booster wrung his hands, looking fearful. "But... you were kissing!"  
XR gave him the best glare he could muster, then followed her. In the bridge, there was complete silence. Mira was standing in front of Buzz with her hands clasped behind her back. XR squirmed.  
Buzz had a deep frown on his face and his eyes went from Mira to XR and back again. XR froze, making himself small and inconspicuous.  
Finally Buzz said "Well, congratulations," and went back to the ship's controls.  
Mira hunched her shoulders. "B-Buzz, we... umm..." She shot XR a despairing look.  
"Oh, no, I'm happy for you," Buzz said, nodding. "As a space ranger, it is my, uh... duty to keep an open mind. Not that it's weird or anything. Uhh... you two. Not weird."  
Mira nodded. "Oh. Okay. That's good. Um- I need to talk to XR in private, okay?"  
"Sure, have fun with your... paramour," he muttered.  
XR instantly started heading away from her. She grabbed his arm before he could get away and yanked him in the direction of the break room.  
The first words out of her mouth were "WHAT IS _WRONG _WITH YOU?" and she started shaking him. He yelped. "TELLING _BOOSTER? _WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A STUPID-"  
"I DIDN'T TELL HIM ANYTHING!" he screamed.  
"THEN HOW DOES HE _KNOW?!"  
_"I DON'T KNOW! Maybe your father told him!"  
"WHY would my FATHER tell him?!?"  
"WELL _I _DIDN'T TELL HIM!!!"  
She let go of his shoulders (good, she was really strong and it hurt) and started pacing in front of him, rubbing her temples. "Oh great, this is just GREAT! Now we have to pretend for BUZZ AND BOOSTER, TOO!"  
"Hey, I'm not pr- Hey, if you didn't want people to think we were dating, why did you_ tell _peoplewe were_ dating?"  
_"It wasn't supposed to come to THIS! XR, I just wanted to dodge that _stupid rule, _I wasn't looking for a boyfriend!"  
He snorted. "Could've fooled me."  
He didn't know why he did it. He really didn't know why he did it, just when she looked like she was starting to calm down-  
"WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU?" she yelled. "You- you never take ANYTHING seriously!"  
"Hey – that's not true, I take you seriously!"  
"Oh, yeah, seriously enough to make me a promise you _don't even keep?!"  
_"I didn't tell him! I didn't tell _anybody,_ I swear…"  
"Ugh, I _knew _I shouldn't have trusted you with something as important as-"  
"_I DIDN'T TELL HIM!!!!"  
_It came out much, much louder than he'd expected, and Mira actually backed away slightly, her eyes widening. His voice took advantage of her stunned silence to forge ahead, spilling out a torrent of words faster than his brain could fully think them.  
"I just wanted to be there for you, Mira, you asked me to do you a favor and I did it. I was just trying to be supportive, and… and this was all _your _idea, you know, maybe you should have thought about the consequences before you asked someone you secretly despised to pretend to be your boyfriend."  
He paused, shaking. As the energy of his outburst wore off he began preparing himself for anything from verbal to physical abuse.  
But nothing happened.  
Mira was silent for a long time.  
Finally he'd calmed down enough to take in her expression. It was unlike any he'd ever seen her wear before. She looked completely stunned, bewildered… and… almost impressed.  
She finally spoke, slowly, softly. "You're right."  
He blinked. "I… what?"  
She sighed heavily. "Yes, you- you have a point… I should've thought about it, and… I guess it is really all my fault." Her voice trailed off and she turned away from him, rubbing her arm self-consciously.  
He stared. Mira was… admitting she was wrong? She was admitting _he _was _RIGHT? _He squirmed in the ensuing silence. He wasn't used to being the one to win the argument. It was… unsettling. "Well… I mean, it's probably not _all _your fault, you know, you could probably blame some of your ancestors if you wanted to…"  
"But I don't hate you."  
He started. "You- what?"  
She met his gaze again, fixing him with a serious stare. "What Booster said about you thinking I hated you. It's not true, you know. I don't. Hate you, that is."  
So she _was _paying attention. His engine started to heat up – he shifted his feet awkwardly. "Oh. Oh, well, um… that's good. Um, I don't hate you too."  
She nodded slightly. "And listen, if you say you didn't tell him about…"  
"I didn't," he snapped. He turned away, hugging himself and muttering "I'm never telling him anything ever again."  
He was hoping that would be the end of it. He was really really hoping she would drop it and leave it at that and they could get on with their lives. There was no need to talk about…  
"XR… what did Booster mean?"  
About this. This was totally irrelevant, why was she bringing up "By, um – by what?" He tried to make his tone sound light and innocent. He failed.  
She pulled on one of her gloves, looking uncomfortable. He blinked. If it made her so uncomfortable, why was she pressing the topic? "When he said… well, when he said that you… you kept talking about how… how much you… liked me…"  
Why _now, _of all times, after _everything _that had happened, was this suddenly becoming an issue. For a moment he considered lying… But what could he say that would explain what Booster was talking about? …Well, she didn't know _everything… _Luckily Booster hadn't had the chance to recount all they'd ever talked about. Maybe there was some way he could not tell the _whole _truth. "Well, um… h-he just meant… he meant- that, you know, I mean… we're friends and all that, naturally, I like you… I mean… well, when you work with someone so long, you start to… admire… I just… and you're… I mean, you're so… you just…"  
It wasn't an easy thing to tiptoe around. She watched him ramble in silence, waiting until his voice had trailed off into nothingness. She nodded when he finished, and he winced, bracing himself for… whatever was to come next.  
"Well, you could have told me about this, you know."  
Just when he thought nothing could surprise him anymore.  
He gaped at her. "I… _what?"  
_"I wouldn't have come to you with this if I knew it was just going to cause problems. You should have told me."  
For a moment all he could do was stare and sputter at her. He could feel himself getting worked up again and tried to hold himself back, it probably wasn't – no, it _definitely _wasn't a good idea at this point to get angry again, it really wasn't, but try as he might "How _could_ I tell you? You got so mad every time I tried…"  
She cut him off. "You never tried, all you did was make sleazy innuendos – I would have listened if you'd tried to tell me something serious."  
His hands started shaking. He clenched them into fists. "Oh, would you? You're not even taking me seriously _now!"  
_"Wha- How am I _supposed_ to know when you're serious? _Huh?!_ You flirt with _everyone!"  
_"Yeah, but that's _different, _I'm not actually in love with any of _them, _Mira!!"  
Her eyes widened. "You're not… _what?" _she gasped.  
His words caught up to him in his head and his eyes widened in horror. Frantically he racked his coding for some kind of excuse, some explanation, some way to erase what he'd said… but nope, he had nothing. The secret was out- there was nothing he could do. Finally he just turned away from her, folding his arms and pouting, trying to feel angry again. And failing miserably. "Hey, I was just trying to be a good friend, I didn't ask you to _kiss _me…" He heard his voice crack and cringed, shrinking away from her.  
"Oh," she said, softly. She regarded him carefully, thoughtfully. And then realization bloomed on her face.  
"Oh, XR, I… I'm so sorry…"  
"Don't worry about it," he heard himself mutter. He was shaking and he hugged himself tighter.  
"I never would have asked you if…"  
"Don't worry about it. Like you said, how could you have known."  
She bit her lip. She was staring down at him with the strangest expression… like she was seeing him for the first time. "Well, I am sorry. I wasn't trying to… use you, I j-"  
"'Course you weren't," he said shortly. She froze, staring down at him. He realized he was being not at all tactful, but really – with how much grace, exactly, could he be expected to handle this situation? Hmm? This was hardly the way he'd imagined he would tell her how he felt about her. He could think of absolutely nothing else to say – neither, it seemed, could she – and the silence dragged on until it became so awkward that he heard himself mumble "Well, let's go, then" and trudged back into the hallway, heading dully for the bridge.

* * *


	3. I can't live in a world without you now

**3**

_Suppose I said  
I am on my best behavior  
And there are times  
I lose my worried mind  
Would you want me when I'm not myself?  
Wait it out while I am someone else?  
_~John Mayer, _Not Myself  
_

_It's all up in the air and we stand still  
__To see what comes down  
I don't know where it is, I don't know when,  
__But I want you around  
_~The Fray, _She Is_

Buzz and Booster stopped talking the minute XR came onto the bridge. Booster dropped his gaze and started wringing his hands in a guilty, self-conscious sort of way; Buzz merely eyed him suspiciously. XR found that he really didn't care and headed towards his panel to make random, mostly unnecessary adjustments.  
It took him a few moments to realize Mira wasn't showing up – he maybe should have checked to make sure she was behind him. He was just starting to wonder if he should double back after her when the bridge doors slid open and Mira stepped through, looking upset. She cast a long, anxious glance at him as she went by. He deliberately kept his gaze down until she'd passed him, then he looked up to watch her ease into her seat and start making half-hearted attempts at working on her panel.  
Buzz was watching her, too, with a strange, unidentifiable expression.  
"Everything… okay with you two?"  
There was a kind of restrained anger in his voice and Mira flinched.  
"Yes, everything's fine," she murmured.  
Somewhere beneath the numbness that had taken over his brain chip XR felt a ripple of anger. What business was it of his who she dated? She should be able to date whoever she wanted to. He punched a few more buttons on his panel.

---

Work was awkward all day long. Booster kept shooting him apologetic glances all day, and seemed to be making a special effort to cover his back when things got exceptionally rough. Mira said surprisingly little. Buzz seemed unable to look directly at either of them.  
It was an immense relief when at long last 42 pulled back into the launch bay. Outside the ship, Buzz met their eyes for the first time that day – or tried to, Mira was looking at the ground – and in lieu of his usual lengthy end-of-day speech, he simply said "Good work today, team" before bidding them all good night and turning back into the station, muttering something about needing to talk to Nebula. An awkward silence fell over the remaining three; Booster especially looked as though he thought he was intruding on something. XR glanced up at Mira. She still hadn't said anything to him, and he was beginning to wonder how he was supposed to leave things with her. If Booster thought they were dating, was he supposed to kiss her goodnight? Would that make her mad? Should he just walk away? What would look less suspicious?  
Finally he compromised; he extended his legs until his face was level with hers – she watched him nervously, confirming his thought that a kiss on the lips would be a baaaad idea – put back his helmet, and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. He was immensely grateful that Booster couldn't see her face- she looked absolutely stunned. He muttered a hasty 'goodnight' and turned away without a backwards glance.  
Booster caught up to him in the hallway.  
"Hey! Buddy!"  
XR turned and forced a smile. "Hey, Booster."  
Booster stared down at him, biting his lip and wringing his hands. "XR… did- did I do… something wrong?"  
He looked unbelievably remorseful. XR groaned. Why did Booster have to go and pull this… It wasn't his fault for being so overly excited, he couldn't be blamed for wanting to share their… 'happiness'… and truth be told, XR found that he actually preferred Booster's reaction to their team captain's.  
He sighed heavily. "No, kid, you didn't do anything… it's just…" …he thought fast for some kind of excuse… "…just- Mira didn't want people knowing about us. Yet," he added hastily.  
Booster looked confused. "But… why not?"  
"Welllll… you know how people are." XR shrugged, folding his hands behind his back and trying to give him a martyred kind of smile. Booster stared down at him blankly. It took XR a moment to realize maybe the message hadn't gotten through. Booster was so darn trusting, he just didn't think of people that way… "It's just… we're hardly what you'd call a… conventional couple, see? She just… wanted to keep it a secret for a little bit. Just 'til we were sure we could… handle people knowing."  
"Oh." Booster's eyes widened fearfully. "I didn't ruin anything, did I?"  
"Oh… no, 'course you didn't." _Mostly because there's nothing _to_ ruin._ "Just… try not to tell anybody else, okay?"  
Booster nodded. "Okay."  
"Okay. Good."  
XR looked down at his feet, kicking at the floor. Booster was nice and all, but what he really wanted was just to be alone right now and…  
"So, what's it like?"  
XR looked up, blinking at him. His eyes were wide and bright. "What's what like?"  
Booster's hands were clasped up by his cheek, his expression almost overly sweet. "Are you guys in love?"  
XR's stomach churned and he felt like he may be sick right here, right in front of Booster. "Look, pal, I don't really… feel like talking about it. Right now."  
"Oh, okay. Well, goodnight, XR! See you tomorrow!" Booster turned away, waving.  
"'Night, Booster." He plastered on a smile and waved back. As soon as Booster was gone he put his hands to his helmet, moaning. What a day.  
Well – at least it was over now, at least he could finally be alone. He _needed _to be alone right now, needed some peace and quiet.  
And he needed a drink.  
He dragged himself into the kitchen, to the tiny refrigerator in the corner where the oil was kept. He was the only robot who ever came in here. The rest waited dutifully for their daily rations to be given _to_ them. Technically he was breaking the rules by being here. Pfft, he didn't really care. He needed a drink, dangit, so they could just take their stupid, stifling regulations and shove em right up-  
"XR?"  
He jumped and shouted and whipped around, flattening against the refrigerator. It was only Mira.  
Her eyes got wide and she held up her hands, taking a step back.  
"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."  
His engine was buzzing. He clutched his service panel, suddenly feeling drained and dizzy.  
She watched him carefully. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.  
He nodded. "Yeah, yeah, fine." He cleared his throat. "What, um… what did you want?"  
She bit her lip, tugging at her glove. "Well, I just… I just wanted to make sure you're okay."  
"I'm fine, Mira, why wouldn't I be?"  
"You were pretty quiet today…"  
He raised his eyebrows. "Look who's talking."  
She sighed in a way that made him wonder if she'd heard him. "I just… I just wanted to make sure you're alright. I don't…. I don't want to… hurt you, and… Well, if I'd known what this was going to mean for you, I never would have asked you to go through with it, and-"  
"Mira, I'm _okay, _really. I knew what I was getting into. I mean, it's like you said, I knew you weren't going to fall in love with me."  
She winced.  
He blinked at her. "So… we're okay, right?"  
She nodded wordlessly. There was a very awkward pause. She was staring at him pretty intently… He squirmed slightly. She typically didn't stare at him like this unless she was really mad, which… she wasn't, right now, and… And the way she was looking at him… He'd never seen her look at him that way before. And he couldn't quite identify her expression…  
In any case, it was awkward and uncomfortable and not what he needed right now. He needed to be alone.  
"So… guess I'll see you tomorrow then," he muttered.  
She nodded again and he turned back to the fridge. He couldn't remember ever before craving a drink this badly…  
"XR?"  
He flinched. She was still there. "Yeah?"  
He turned to see her standing in the doorway, her hands folded in front of her. "I just… I just want you to know, that… well, that I really am sorry."  
His insides churned. "Don't worry about it. I'll see you tomorrow."  
Her face took on a resigned look and she nodded, finally turning away and heading down the hall.  
Leaving him alone.  
He blinked at the spot she'd been, surprised at the sudden sense of emptiness that overtook him. He suddenly wished she hadn't left. He didn't want to be alone.  
He darted out into the hallway after her.

---

He finally found her in the hallway leading to the launch bay. He sped up to catch her…  
"Mira, there you are."  
He jumped at the loud, firm, businesslike voice and ducked into an open doorway just as Buzz appeared from a side hall up ahead, intercepting Mira's path. XR peered around the door frame, listening anxiously.  
"Oh – hi, Buzz," Mira was saying tonelessly. "Um… what is it?"  
He crossed his arms, studying her carefully, his brow furrowed. For a good minute-and-a-half he just stood there silently, all the while XR worrying that his engine was too loud and would catch their attention.  
Finally Buzz spoke. "Is everything okay with you?"  
Something inside XR shuddered. He swallowed hard.  
Mira looked down at her feet, shrugging. "Yeah, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be."  
Buzz frowned. "You were… oddly quiet today."  
XR flinched. This was a bit too familiar… He watched Mira expectantly, but she remained strangely unresponsive. "Everything's okay," she whispered.  
Buzz raised an eyebrow. "If you say so…" His voice took on a more purposeful tone. "I just want to make sure you're looking out for yourself."  
XR stiffened. And that was supposed to mean…?  
"I'm _fine, _Buzz, really," Mira insisted, a trace of annoyance coming into her voice.  
He reached out and placed his hands firmly on her shoulders. She flinched. XR's engine started revving.  
"If you say you're okay, I believe you," Buzz was saying. He didn't sound convinced at all. "Just… look out for yourself, Mira."  
"Alright," she said flatly.  
"Just be careful, okay?"  
"_Okay, _Buzz," she snapped.  
XR started trembling. What could Buzz possibly be concerned about? He was making it sound like he was worried… but no, that couldn't be, he wouldn't… he'd said it didn't bother him, he said…  
Buzz patted her shoulder. She scowled, shrugging out of his grip and turning away sharply, storming into the launch bay. He watched her go, then turned and headed back into the station. XR flattened himself against the wall as he passed.  
He waited, frozen in place, until even the echo of Buzz's footsteps was gone. Then he made a beeline for the nearest bathroom and doubled over in a series of dry heaves.  
He wasn't sure how much time he spent there, hunched over the toilet. The convulsions passed after a while and he straightened up, feeling dizzy and empty. And tired. And sick.  
He staggered out of the bathroom, holding his helmet. Somewhere inside him was this insistent little urge to talk to somebody, hear a soothing voice, have someone tell him everything would all be okay… That, of course, would be Booster.  
He flipped open his wrist communicator, his fingers hovering over the keypad. Booster was good at being positive… Booster was also good at listening. And persistently trying to get people to open up. XR didn't really feel all that much like _actually _talking at the moment, and if he looked as bad as he felt, Booster wasn't likely to let him go without getting an explanation. He started to close the little panel. He couldn't really afford to give any explanations at the moment, not if he wanted to keep Mira from getting even more upset… He hesitated, then flipped the panel back open. He was halfway through dialing Mira's number when his nerve failed him. What would he say to her? What _could _he say to her? She didn't want to hear about his problems. She'd heard more than enough this morning as it was. He was probably the last person she felt like talking to. …And he didn't feel like talking anyway.  
He snapped the panel shut, then dragged himself toward the science bay to his lonely little charger.

* * *

Reviews are greatly appreciated.


	4. cause nothing will ever be as good

**AN: **Happy Valentine's Day

* * *

**4**

_You said you couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in you. Well I believed in you. You just didn't believe in me. I love you... always.  
_~Andrew McCarthy, Paramount Pictures'_ 'Pretty in Pink'_

_This is for real, this time I mean it  
I'm coming clean, please don't let go  
I said from the start, that you could take it or leave it  
I'd prefer that you keep it  
Don't let go, don't let go  
_~Motion City Soundtrack, _This Is For Real_

_Cause when I looked into your eyes  
__And you dared to stare right back  
__You should have said 'nice to meet you,  
__I'm your other half'  
_~Relient k, _The Best Thing_

_Suppose I said  
__You're my saving grace  
_~John Mayer, _Not Myself_

The next few days actually brought a sense of semi-normality. Occasionally XR would think about the conversation he'd overheard between Buzz and Mira and his stomach would churn – he consoled himself by remembering Mira's face, how displeased she'd seemed to be with Buzz that night. It was something, anyway. Mira hadn't quite been herself afterwards; she seemed down all the time and was uncharacteristically subdued. Buzz made a few comments now and then, but as her attitude didn't seem to be affecting her work, he didn't seem all that concerned. Mira had left the whole fake engagement out of her explanation to Buzz and begged XR not to mention it – fine with him, he didn't want to think about it anyway.  
And he found to his surprise that the news really hadn't had as much of an impact as he might have guessed. Booster would occasionally throw him warm, happy looks – which got slightly awkward – and Buzz seemed a little cooler towards him. So what. Business went on as usual and no one brought up the ersatz relationship again.  
Until Mira caught up to him one night as he was heading for a much-needed charge.  
"XR, can I talk to you?"  
He shrugged. "Sure."  
She glanced around, then lowered her voice. "In private?"  
He blinked. "O… kay…"  
Without warning, she grabbed him by the arm and started pulling him across the hall. He yelped.\  
"Hey! What're you _doing?!"  
_She herded him towards a closet. "In here," she said, pushing him in and locking the door behind her.  
It was dark and cramped. He let his eyes light up so a soft golden glow filled the room. "What was _that _about?"  
She blinked. "I- I just wanted to talk to you where we… wouldn't be interrupted."  
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Okay…"  
He was about to ask what was wrong with the break room, or even the science bay at this hour, with the LGMs gone for the night; but she'd closed her eyes and was massaging her temples and she looked so distressed he decided to wait for her to speak.  
Finally she lowered her hands, giving him an apologetic look. An uneasy feeling bloomed in his gut.  
"XR… my father wants to see us on a… well, he wants to see us on another date."  
The uneasy feeling escalated to sick-feeling. "Does he now." His voice was low and lifeless.  
She winced. "Yeah. He, umm… he called me last night. He said – in essence – that he had a few more… um, questions for you."  
He blinked, his interested piqued in spite of himself. "Questions?"  
"Yeah. Just to, umm… well, just to make sure you're… you know, 'good enough' for his little girl."  
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Am I?" he asked tonelessly.  
She put her face in her hands, squeezing her eyes shut. "XR, _please _don't make this harder than it already is."  
He sighed heavily. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. And I promise I won't make any comments like that at dinner." He crossed his heart – well, where his heart would be, anyway – and put on his best solemn face.  
She lowered her hands slightly, peeking out at him. She watched him for a second, then shook her head.  
"You know what… this- this isn't fair to you. You shouldn't have to… you know, I don't think I feel right about going through with this. I feel like I'm… using you, and I don't want…"  
"But you've already told him you'll be there, haven't you?"  
She looked away, fiddling with her hair. "Well… well, yes, I- I have, b-but I can always call him back, I can tell him everything, and we don't have to-"  
"Hey, we've come this far, why quit now, right?"  
Her face took on a pained look. "XR, I don't…"  
"I just want to help you, Mira. Really, I do. And hey, obviously I'd rather not watch you get married off-" he was surprised to feel the corners of his mouth twitch into an awkward half-smile, "-so if something as simple as another date with your father'll keep you with us… well, then I'll do it."  
She didn't look quite as amused. "XR, really, you _don't have to-"  
_"But I _want _to." He frowned. "Do you _not _want my help, is that it?"  
She shook her head. "Of course I want your help, it's just… XR, I don't want to hurt you…"  
"Don't worry about me. It's all fake, I get it. I _understand,_ Mira, really."  
She hesitated. "Well… if you're sure you'll be okay…"  
"Positive."  
Mira nodded, though she didn't look reassured in the least. "Well, alright then. I'll be here around eight to pick you up, okay?"  
"Okay."  
She turned to leave, then paused awkwardly in the doorway. "Look, XR, I… I just… I just want you to know…" She trailed off, tugging at her glove. She seemed to be struggling to find the right way to say something. Finally she sighed heavily. "Thanks for… doing this for me," she mumbled.  
Something in his chest constricted. "Hey, what are friends for, right?"  
Ugh. It physically hurt to use those words; and it must have shown on his face or something, because that pained look she had intensified and she turned away quickly, disappearing down the hall.

---

At 7:30 he made his way down to the launch bay with a heavy heart and a queasy stomach. Sure, in a strange way he was looking forward to going on another date with Mira, however fake it may be – on the other hand, she was being really awkward about the whole thing – and he reeeeally wasn't looking forward to the inquisition Nova undoubtedly had prepared for him. He shuddered and squirmed and fidgeted with his bow tie.  
This time she'd given him a few hours notice, so he'd had time to polish and see the LGMs about a quick fix-up. They seemed to find it odd but thankfully didn't ask too many questions – he got the feeling they would jump at any opportunity to poke and prod him to their little hearts' content.  
And this time he'd actually managed to get his hands on a jacket. It made him feel a little better-prepared and it made his bow tie not stand out so much. He thought he looked pretty good in it, actually. The fabric rustled softly around his waist as he paced back and forth in front of 42, his hands behind his back.  
How _was _tonight going to go, exactly? What was he supposed to say to her father? And, more importantly, how was Mira going to handle the situation? Now that his… big secret was _totally blown,_ how was she going to act towards him?  
He didn't have long to find out; Mira was early.  
His wristwatch told him it was 7:45 when her car pulled into the launch bay and came to a stop in front of 42.  
She stepped out of the car and his jaw about hit the floor (…or, at least, the bottom of his helmet). She was wearing a red dress – he'd always thought red was her color… in fact, now that he thought about it, he was sure he'd let that slip to her once and earned a glare and a smack for it – with a long, flowy skirt and halter top with a neckline that dipped a little lower than he might've dared to hope. It complimented her figure quite nicely, he couldn't help but notice… and it rippled around her feet as she walked, giving the slight impression that she was gliding. He wasn't quite sure what the material was, but it had a slight sheen to it. He had to resist a strong impulse to reach out and see if it felt as smooth as it looked.  
He felt himself gulp. He never would've guessed Mira had a dress like that…  
She approached him slowly. He watched her, unable to look away. She stopped in front of him – her hair was done up, half of it pulled back in a fancy knot. She was wearing silver dangly earrings and a pretty silver necklace with a ruby pendant. He couldn't help but think they looked nice with the ring he'd gotten her. She stared down at him, looking nervous. She opened her mouth… hesitated, seemed to change her mind, closed it again… Then she straightened up, taking a deep breath.  
"You, um… you look nice," she mumbled.  
He stared at her.

---

In the car it was awkward and silent. He squirmed in his seat, frantically trying to come up with something to say, something to break the tension…  
He glanced over at her. Golly, she looked beautiful… she'd clearly put a conscious effort into her appearance tonight. That thought made him feel strangely uneasy.  
He considered her for a moment. A compliment seemed appropriate. He choked down the words 'you look nice' – which at this point would no doubt sound stupid – and cast around for something specific to comment on. His gaze finally landed on the gem at the base of her neck.  
"I like your necklace." Oh, yeah, that didn't sound stupid at all.  
To his surprise, she actually looked quite pleased that he'd pointed it out. She reached up and touched the pendant fondly. "Thanks. It was my mother's."  
His eyes widened. _Her mother's? _He rarely heard about her mother; the only thing he knew for sure was that she'd passed away when Mira was very young and Mira didn't like to talk about it. That necklace was probably one of the only things she had left of her mother.  
"It's beautiful," he whispered. He found that he couldn't take his eyes off of it, knowing now that it was linked to her past, that it was undoubtedly very important to her.  
In the dark he could just make out a slight blush creeping into her cheeks. "Thank you," she said softly.  
He shifted in his seat. "You… you must miss her a lot."  
She bit her lip. "I do."  
The next question burst forth before he could register its inappropriateness and stop himself. "What's it like?"  
She glanced at him. "What's what like?"  
He wrung his hands. What was he doing. "Having a mother."  
She spun around to face him and her eyes were wide and startled and he flinched. He shouldn't have brought it up. Should have just let it go, let it stop right there and…  
"Well… having a mother is… it's like… you know you'll have someone who will love you and understand you, and care for you always… no matter what."  
He was completely still in the silence that followed her answer. He focused very hard on his feet. He felt slightly dizzy, and oddly empty. "That must be nice."  
She nodded out the window. "It is."

---

They went to the same restaurant as before. Mira intoned her surname and the maitre'd led them to the back of the restaurant, where King Nova was waiting, fixing him with such a fiery glare XR wondered how he didn't melt right there on the spot.  
He gulped.  
They reached the table and XR hastily pulled out a chair for Mira – this time she thanked him and gave him such a sweet smile he was shocked Nova didn't whack him with his cane. He took the chair next to her and King Nova sat across from them, his eyes narrowed.  
Heavy silence fell over them and XR squirmed in his seat. Mira was unusually submissive; she sat with her shoulders hunched, her eyes downcast. Nova just glared. Finally XR couldn't stand the silence anymore and cleared his throat. Loudly. "So, uh… good to see you again, sir- uh, Your Majesty."  
Nova frowned at him and XR felt his lips curve into an ingratiating grin. Geez, could he do _anything _right for this guy?  
Nova considered him a moment longer, then sniffed, looking away and adjusting one of his rings. "So, I see you're still together."  
XR blinked. What was _that_ supposed to mean? He glanced over at Mira; her posture hadn't changed in the slightest, but her gaze had shifted and she was staring at her father with barely-concealed rage. "Father, _please…"  
_"I might have thought you'd grown tired of your charade by this point."  
"Our _what?" _XR asked Mira. She didn't respond. XR glanced across at Nova to see that he was looking back and forth between them, confusion just apparent beneath the anger.  
Mira gave her father a long, hard glare – XR got the odd feeling she had just told him something, somehow, because he blinked at her, frowning slightly – then turned to him. "My father still thinks our relationship is fake," she said in a stage-whisper.  
"It…" Later he would thank his lucky stars that he'd had the good sense to stop and think about what he was saying, and so check himself before he could blurt out 'it is fake' and give Mira a reason to pound him. He adopted the widest, most innocent-looking eyes he could manage, glancing at Nova for effect before he leaned in towards Mira and said, in a hopefully 'well, that's obvious' sort of tone, "It isn't, though…"  
If she knew how close he'd come to slipping up, she didn't show it. "I _know _that," she muttered, folding her arms and throwing a challenging glance at her father. His eyes narrowed; he glanced at XR, then back to her, then he cleared his throat, making a big deal out of arranging his silverware. XR glanced nervously at Mira, who gave him a 'stay calm' sort of look.  
Nova finished with the forks and leaned back, folding his hands on the table and assuming a business-like air. XR had the sudden ridiculous sensation he was sitting in a job interview. He unconsciously straightened up.  
Nova stared at him disdainfully. "So, you consider yourself deserving of a princess."  
"_Daddy!" _Mira snapped.  
Nova's gaze flicked to her; he cleared his throat and drew himself up again, starting over.  
"So, you intend to marry my daughter."  
_Well, actually…_ "Yes."  
"You intend to support her."  
"Yes."  
"You intend to care for her children."  
He flinched and Mira flinched beside him and underneath the panic was a flash of rage that he'd said _her _and not _your… _"Yes."  
Nova eyed him disapprovingly. "But you don't have parents."  
"No." _Obviously not.  
_"You don't have any kind of family."  
He shivered. "No."  
"You're a machine."  
"Y-yes."  
"You're only a few years old, correct?"  
He nodded. He didn't trust himself to talk anymore.  
"And yet you feel you understand what it takes to raise a family?"  
He could feel tears pricking his eyes and forced them back. _No. No, do NOT cry in front of a king, how pathetic do you want to make yourself look, MIRA'S WATCHING YOU, now suck it up and…  
_"Father, _stop it!"  
_There was a crash and XR jumped. Mira had gotten to her feet and slammed her hands on the table. She was leaning forward and glaring at her father more fiercely than he had ever imagined she could. Which was saying a lot.  
"Don't be cruel. XR may not be your idea of the perfect son-in-law, but he's sweet and funny and he cares about me. And he's making every effort to please you – the least you could do in return is spare him the verbal assault!"  
Nova was watching her in surprise, awe, and of course, the inevitable anger. There followed a very long silence in which Mira and her father stared each other down. Neither seemed willing to back off. XR began to wonder if he should say something, break the tension – he tried, but his voice didn't seem to be working. Once more he had the strange feeling some sort of mental showdown was taking place between them… which, he realized suddenly, was probably right on the mark. In which case he should probably stay out of it. He occupied himself with trying to make a swan out of his napkin.  
It was impossible to know exactly the exchange that had taken place; but if he had to guess, he'd say that Mira won, because her father was the one who finally broke eye contact, looking away with a heavy sigh.  
"Forgive me, Mira. Erm… _XR…"  
_XR's head snapped up. King Nova'd never called him by name before…  
"I… I apologize."  
His eyes widened. For a moment all he could do was stare in open-mouthed shock before stammering "Oh… oh, s'okay, Y-your Majesty."  
King Nova looked like he was trying very hard not to appear displeased. He raised an eyebrow at Mira and she nodded. As she sat down, she moved her chair closer to XR's, then put her arm around his shoulders, sliding up close next to him.  
He felt himself stiffen, surprised at his own reaction. How many times had he dreamed of this? So why wasn't he absolutely elated?  
Nova was looking as if he'd just smelled something very unpleasant. XR gulped and squirmed.  
The king started fiddling with his rings again, more in an anxious sort of way this time. XR braced himself for whatever would come next.  
"You must understand," Nova began, his voice a bit gentler. "It's just… so hard to watch my only daughter grow up so fast."  
Something shuddered inside him and he shifted in his chair. When he thought about it that way, maybe Nova wasn't so jerky after all; he was just looking out for his daughter, how could he really be blamed…  
"And certainly it's understandable that I would want nothing but _the best _for her."  
And he shot XR a disapproving look.  
Okay, so he wasa jerk _sometimes.  
_"And it's just… so _unusual _to find a mach- that is, to find one of your kind expressing… _actual _emotion."  
Okay, so he was a jerk a _lot _of the time. But XR had never honestly imagined he would feel actual loathing for the man.  
He drew himself up in his chair, closed his eyes, composed himself… he'd take the high road, he'd show her just how civilized he could be…"Unusual, not _impossible," _he countered evenly.  
Nova's expression flickered slightly, and XR was fairly certain from the lack of resulting argument that Nova actually thought he'd made a valid point. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mira beam at him. Probably took a lot to leave her father this at a loss for words.  
It still didn't take long for Nova to recover, resuming that distinctly haughty air. "Not impossible. Very well, then. So I take it that means you do love my daughter?"  
Beside him, Mira stiffened. He himself didn't react. Why should he hide it? Mira knew by this point, there was no reason to cover it up…  
"Yes, sir."  
King Nova's eyes widened. He stared for quite some time, and XR actually had to choke back a laugh, he'd honestly never seen Nova look so completely stunned. Maybe he was better at this than he thought. He glanced over at Mira – but she just looked sad again.  
Nova was having a harder time recovering from that one. He cleared his throat loudly, sitting up and straightening his collar. "Y- you do, then. Well… very well."  
There was silence once more as Nova started twirling one of his rings idly. Again with those things. Who was he trying to impress? He already had more money and power than XR could ever dream of. He had his own _planet, _for crying out loud. He had everything; loyal subjects, a loving daughter…  
XR shuddered inwardly, glancing up at Mira again. Her eyes were closed and she looked distressed – he found himself wishing he could do that Tangean mind-link thing, he would've given anything to know what she was thinking right now.  
Across the table Nova was struggling for new material.  
"So… you two… have you… have you set a date for the wedding?"  
XR had the wild idea he was experiencing what organics called a 'panic attack.' _Set a…_ oh, mother of Venus, he'd never even considered… how far were they going to have to take this, anyway? Nova was waiting for an answer, mother of Venus, what was he supposed to say…  
Mira saved him yet again. "No, not yet. We… we've both been busy."  
XR nodded, more to himself than King Nova. That at least was believable, a job like theirs was pretty demanding, after all…  
Nova was back to his disapproving self. "Of course you are."  
XR swallowed hard. He couldn't speak anymore, could barely concentrate on what was going on in front of him. Nova's words had shaken him so completely… What if this never ended, what if this kept going until they actually _had _to get married, just for her father's benefit…  
His eyes widened as a horrible thought struck him. What if… what if he became the very thing Mira'd set out to avoid? What if _he _became her unwanted marriage? She'd be miserable, she'd be furious – mother of Venus, she'd hate him forever…  
He felt suddenly cold and very empty again and he started shivering. Mira pulled him closer and started rubbing his arm, as if she was trying to warm him up.  
He jumped, staring around at her. The distress was still evident on her face, even as she gave him an anxious little half-smile. He could only stare at her. If it weren't for her father sitting right across from them, he would have begged her to tell him exactly why she was doing all this.  
As she watched him, the smile faded. She tilted her head slightly. A thought seemed to occur to her suddenly because she blurted out "Hey, do you need anything?"  
Anything, as in… "Wh-what?"  
She was looking around at the table. "Do you want something to drink?"  
Oh. As in restaurant-stuff anything.  
He shook his head. "No, no, that's okay…"  
"You sure?"  
He nodded. In all honesty, he didn't think he'd be able to hold anything down.  
She didn't say any more, just nodded slightly and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. He chanced a glance at Nova – who was staring, wide-eyed, back and forth between the two of them. Like he couldn't quite believe what had just happened.  
He wasn't the only one. XR stared blankly up at Mira, trying to fathom what she was doing. She was being so patient with him, so understanding… since when was she ever this tolerant of him? She stroked his shoulder in a reassuring way and he had to resist the sudden urge to wrap his arms around her and bury his face in her side and just _stay _that way until all this other stuff disappeared. He had to remind himself that she probably wouldn't appreciate that.  
Neither would her father, he added to himself – and he squirmed under the renewed glare Nova was giving him. King Nova seemed determined not to let them go until he absolutely had to and spent the rest of the evening thinking up all kinds of demanding and invasive questions. After a while Mira just took over all the answering, something he'd have to remember to thank her for later. He ended up staring dully at the tablecloth, trying to ignore Nova's thinly-veiled insults and counting the seconds until this nightmare dinner ended and he could finally go home.

---

King Nova bade them goodbye at the door of the restaurant and rushed off to his little pink cruiser. As he left, XR was sure he heard him mutter something about proper behavior in public and not wanting to see his daughter degrade herself any further. XR heaved a little sigh of relief and started heading across the parking lot. All he wanted at this point was sleep; as far as he was concerned, they couldn't get back to Star Command soon enough. He'd only gone a few feet when Mira caught up to him and slipped her arm around his shoulders, walking close to his side. He went stiff, his eyes wide and staring. Why was she doing this? Her father was gone, who was she trying to fool? Did she just feel that sorry for him? Was he _that_ pathetic in her eyes? He looked down at his feet, biting his quivering lip. He couldn't shake the feeling that she was doing all this out of nothing more than pity, and that thought made him feel sick to his… oil tank. This whole situation had gone from worse to unbearable and all he wanted was to get back in his charger where he wouldn't have to think about any of it for a few hours.  
Neither one said anything as they made their way across the parking lot. Mira didn't release him until they finally reached her electric blue ride. He wheeled around the side and hoisted himself into the passenger seat, not looking up when she slid in beside him.  
"Well, that went well," he murmured weakly. He felt exhausted.  
She sighed heavily. "XR, I'm really sorry."  
He winced. It felt like that was all she ever said anymore. He really wished she'd stop it.  
"_Don't _be." He realized with a start that he preferred her angry. At least then she stood up for herself. Now she just seemed… defeated. Like she couldn't fight anymore. He shivered. That was a scary thought...  
She sat staring dully at her hands. "I never should have made you do this."  
Her voice was completely devoid of emotion. It was unnerving and made him squirm in his seat.  
"Hey – listen, you didn't _make _me do anything…"  
"It wasn't fair to you." She squeezed her eyes shut. "Buzz was right, I should have just gone through with the marriage."  
Panic jolted his stomach and he twisted around to face her. She looked distressed, defeated… hopeless. It was painful to see her like that.  
"No, Mira… it- it's a stupid rule! You shouldn't have to be forced into _anything! _Least of all something like this, I mean, come _on, _you'd have to be stuck with some guy you don't even know for the rest of your-"  
"I know, I _know, _XR," she growled through her teeth. For a moment she looked like she was about to yell and he was shocked to feel his heart rise in his chest. Then she sighed heavily and her face went blank again. His stomach churned. Geez, he really _didn't_ like seeing her like this. "Believe me, an arranged marriage is the _last_ thing I want. And I would love it if there were some way around it, I just…" she trailed off, twisting her fingers in an anxious sort of way and looking upset. She was silent for a very long time.  
"Just… what?" he prodded.  
She took a deep breath. "Just… I've been fighting the traditions of my people _all my life. _In everything I do, I defy their- _our _customs. Maybe it's… maybe it's time I just accepted what I am."  
He sat back in his seat, blinking at her. "Mira… no one should tell you who you're supposed to be…"  
"I've been stupid." She leaned over the wheel, hiding her face in one hand. "How did I ever believe I could be something I'm not? What was I _thinking? _I can't escape what I am, I can't run away from this… They were right, all of them, I'm just a freak…"  
His eyes widened and his head snapped up. "Who said that?"  
She looked up suddenly; her eyes were nearly twice their normal size and he had the strange feeling she was looking past him, seeing something he couldn't see. For a moment she looked helpless as a lost little girl. It scared him.  
Then she blinked, and it was gone; she leaned back in her seat and resumed staring at her hands, fiddling idly with the car keys. "Nobody," she murmured.  
He glanced at her face, glanced down at her hands, then finally looked out the windshield, completely at a loss for words. This was a side of her he _never _thought he'd see. Mira was troubled? Since when did Mira have trouble with _anything?  
_She sighed heavily, turning away from him. "It's just- XR, you don't know what it feels like to be different."  
He went completely and totally still.  
Unheeding, Mira continued. "To be- made fun of by the other kids for... not wanting the same things as they do..."  
_Made fun of… _"Oh?" he said, his voice suddenly devoid of emotion.  
She nodded slightly, looking down. "Just- y-you don't know how it feels not to have any friends growing up. To want – more than anything – just to find _someone _who understands you."  
He stared off into space. There was an odd sort of heat rising in his chest that made him feel strangely like the sides of the car were closing in on him.  
She kept going. "To be... ostracized and... awkward and..."  
He ran out of the car. She jumped. "XR?!"  
He kept running, even when he heard her door slam and heard her cry out "XR! _Wait!"  
_XR shut his eyes tight. He kept his head down, not sure where he was going, not really caring. There was a dull buzzing in his head, drowning out all other noise – so he didn't hear her running after him, calling his name, and he gasped when there was suddenly a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back. He yelped as the hand pulled him around and suddenly he was face-to-face with Mira. She was on her knees in front of him, her high-heels dangling from one hand. He tried to squirm away from her but she put both hands on his shoulders, holding him in place.  
"XR, what is going on?"  
His engine was heating up uncomfortably and for one horrifying moment he felt like he'd be sick, right here in front of her. "Nothing, nothing's going on…"  
"XR? What… what's wrong?!"  
There were tears welling in his eyes, he realized. He put his helmet back and started pawing hastily at his face. "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine, really Mira, I-" his words drowned in a single, dry sob and he clapped his hands over his mouth. He was starting to tremble and he felt weak and shaky and ohhh, mother of Venus, what if he did throw up, all over her nice dress… He tried to calm himself down and tell her he was fine but new tears were building up every second and it was taking every ounce of his strength to force them back and choke down the ensuing, pitiful little sobs.  
He was making quite a spectacle of himself, he realized. People making their way across the parking lot were slowing down to stare at him as they passed. Well, he was used to people staring… What he _wasn't _used to was _Mira_ giving him this kind of undivided attention. She didn't even seem to care that people were staring at him – and consequently her as well – or that they were whispering and casting disapproving looks at the two of them.  
"XR… what's wrong?" she asked softly, gently. She started stroking his shoulders in a comforting way and he shuddered. It felt unbelievably good, that simple little touch, and in another instant his resolve had melted away completely.  
"It's just… all those things you said… Mira, don't you think I know how that feels?"  
She blinked, looking truly puzzled. "Do you?"  
He stared back at her. She was _honestly _surprised?  
"Of course I do." He wiped his eyes on the back of his hand, sniffling. "I mean – come on, Mira, how many robots do you know act like me?"  
"Well… I- I don't really know a lot of robots at all, and-"  
"How many?"  
She glanced at the ground. "Not many," she mumbled.  
"I'm not normal, Mira, and you know it. Everyone knows it. And everyone makes fun of me for it, even you…"  
She winced, and where he thought would be a snappy comeback was a look of shame. He blinked. Something inside his chest tightened.  
"Hey – it's not like you hurt me, or…" Well, that wasn't totally true. "I mean, I know you didn't mean anything. You were just pointing out what you saw. An abnormality."  
She flinched at that and when she looked back at him, his eyes widened. Her gaze was intense and open and… accepting. Accepting of _him. _He matched her gaze, for once not bothering to worry about staring and how inappropriate it was. He couldn't look away if he'd wanted to.  
"I- I guess you're right…" she was saying softly. "Okay, I _know_ you're right. I guess… I've just gotten so used to you, I just forget sometimes that all robots… well, that all robots aren't meant to… to feel…"  
She looked worried she was going to offend him. He nodded in what was hopefully a reassuring way. It was surprisingly easy to keep going, after this. Feelings he'd always had trouble expressing suddenly came rushing forth. "It's not normal for a robot to love an organic… it's not normal for a robot to love at all! They… they say it's wrong. Oh yeah, I hear them talk," he added in response to her stunned stare. "I've heard what they say about me, when they think I'm not listening… how I'm not normal, how I'm strange, how I'm _defective…" _He choked on the last word and a fresh wave of tears tried to force its way forward. He swallowed hard. "And they're right, you know, I'm not supposed to feel this way… I'm not supposed to care if you show up for work or not, I'm not supposed to hang on every word you say, I'm not supposed to feel happy if for some reason we get even a fraction of a millisecond alone together, I'm not-"  
He was cut off by a soft pressure against his mouth and realized that for the second time in less than a week, Mira had kissed him.  
And this time was different. This, now… _this _was a kiss. Not like last time, when he'd been too stunned to absorb any more than the taste of her lips… not that he didn't notice it this time, too, her lips were wonderfully sweet, with a faintly exotic flavor… But this time there was… there was something more… something _deeper._ He felt crazy for thinking it, but there it was; he swore he was picking up on feelings that were not his, sensations that were coming from somewhere else, thoughts that were… that were _hers, _somehow, that in that instant she was somehow opening her mind to him, to let him in, let him be a part of her hopes, her dreams… that she wanted – his mind reeled – that she wanted to be close to him.  
It was dizzying, that sudden rush of emotion. But not in an unpleasant way; on the contrary, it was one of the greatest things he'd ever felt.  
She wasn't pulling away this time. He let his arms slip around her waist (he'd been right, her dress was silky smooth) and she didn't struggle or protest or anything. He pulled her close and felt her arms slip around his shoulders to cross at the back of his neck. He trembled underneath the touch… this felt so good, unbelievingly good… Cautiously he let his hands wander over her back, feeling her shiver slightly as he did. Her hair was smooth and wonderfully soft and he ran his fingers through it.  
If people were staring before, he could only imagine what they were doing now. He found he'd never cared less. All that mattered suddenly was Mira, what she thought, what she felt, what she wanted… Everything else faded away.  
He couldn't tell how long they stayed that way. He only knew that at long last she pulled away, and her beautiful face was radiant.  
She took a deep breath, and the smile she gave him then made him feel weak and shaky all over again.  
"Okay."  
That was all she said. He blinked at her. "Okay what?"  
She was blushing again. Golly, she looked adorable when she did that. "Okay, we can give it a try."  
He stared blankly back. What was wrong with him? He couldn't understand… She must think he was an idiot… "Give what a try?"  
She glanced away and back quickly, then whispered "Us."  
_Us? _"You mean…" It hit him like a ton of bricks, suddenly, what exactly she _did_ mean by that, and his heart raced and he felt the doofiest grin spread across his face but he didn't care how stupid he might've looked, she'd _actually said _"You… you mean it?!"  
She nodded, looking equally apprehensive and excited.  
His grin must have reached idiotic by this point. He found he was having a hard time caring; she _meant _it, she _really meant it._ He clung to her, afraid to let her go and lose this wonderful feeling. "Oh, Mira, I-"  
She put a finger to his lips (the index – apparently this was his lucky week), fixing him with a serious look. "I'm not promising anything. Okay? The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But…" she grinned, her shoulders rising sheepishly. "It's worth a try."  
He nodded slowly. 'Worth a try' was more than he'd ever dared dream. Could this _actually _be happening? Was Mira really agreeing to go out with him?  
Her finger left his lips and trailed gently along the side of his face.  
He shivered. It _felt _like it was happening.  
There was silence once more as he let it sink in that Mira was going to be his girlfriend. His engine started humming. _Mira _was going to be his _girlfriend. HIS _girlfriend! _Mira!_ He couldn't ever remember feeling so happy.  
She never once broke his gaze, watching him throughout his silent revelation, her fingers absentmindedly stroking his face. "Hey – d'you wanna get out of here?"  
He felt himself nod again. "Okay." He probably would have said 'yes' if she'd asked if he wanted to go white-water rafting, he was so elated.  
She got to her feet, slipping her shoes back on and motioning for him to follow her. Which he did, of course. He glanced up into her face, which suddenly seemed too far away. He wanted to put his arm around her but didn't particularly trust his cable extenders at the moment. Still a little too shaky. He settled for sticking close by her side. He became vaguely aware that 'getting out of here' might entail going back to Star Command and an odd sense of urgency filled him. He didn't want to leave her, just yet… he couldn't leave her now, when things were going like this, if he left her now he wouldn't get any rest.  
"So, umm… where are we going?"  
She shrugged. "I don't know… where do you feel like going?"  
He blinked, trying to remember the last time anyone had asked him what _he _wanted to do. … He couldn't.  
"I… don't know."  
She didn't seem at all bothered by his lack of suggestions. "Oh, well… we'll figure something out."  
He nodded. Again. "Yeah… yeah, okay, we will."  
They were at her car now. It occurred to him that he'd be seeing a lot of this car in weeks to come and his heart pounded out an excited rhythm.  
He climbed in and she went around to the driver's side, sliding in and starting the engine. It roared to life and they were off.  
He realized as they pulled away from the restaurant they still had no idea where they were headed.  
He sighed deeply, sinking into the seat cushions. So hard to care after what had just taken place. He glanced over at her; she met his gaze and smiled, her eyes warm and bright and beautiful. He just stared back in silent wonder.  
So what if they didn't know what they were going to do. They'd be _together… _He and Mira were going to be together, for real this time, no games, no rules, no pretending, and not because she was trying to escape something, but because she _wanted _this. He couldn't have imagined a more perfect moment.  
And she was right, after all. They'd figure something out.

**

* * *

**

Reviews are greatly appreciated.


End file.
